Chapter 5. In Real Life

Play List: In Real Life - Demi Lovato

Unbreakable Heart - Jessica Andews 

What You Least Expected

Chapter 5. In Real Life 

“Bella!” Maggie’s voice screeches at me through the door. “Bella, answer me!” She cries. 

“Wait, is there a window in the bathroom?” Someone asks. 

“Yea, but it’s three floors up!” Maggie cries. “I’ll break the door down.” 

“You might hit her!” A voice floats nervously through the wood paneling. 

“Shit!” Maggie hisses. “Bella!” 

From the fog I sit under, my mind pulses at the tone of her voice and I moan. 

“Bella!” Maggie shifts against the door, the handle rattling. “Can you hear me?” 

I shift uncomfortably against the cool linoleum as my consciousness comes back and everything comes rushing back. Tears fills my eyes and I immediately begin to weep, deep unlady like sobs crush my chest with grief as tears cascade down my cheeks. 

“Are you hurt?” Maggie’s voice anxiously carries to me through the door. 

“Mag...” I manage to sob. 

“Bella? Open the door sweetie. Let me in...” 

She rattles the handle and I reach for the knob to disengage the lock. When the door finally bursts open, the look on Maggie’s face is pure shock. It takes her a nano second to join me on the floor. 

“Bella?” Her arms quickly wrap around me as she pulls me tightly to her to. “You’re scaring me to death.” She whispers into my hair. “Are you hurt, what’s happened?” 

I can only breath out the words, and even as my breath hardly pushes the thought into what is reality, I can hardly control my shaking and labored breaths. 

“I’m pregnant.” 

I can feel her still around me instantly before her arms tighten around my shoulders. It’s almost like she’s trying to keep me from falling apart. 

“Oh Bella.” Is all she can manage to say at first but then she asks, “Are you sure?” 

I nod and she pulls back to look at me as I point her to the bathroom sink where eight separate tests lay piled together inside - all positive. 

“Okay.” Maggie blinks at me. “It’s okay.” 

I can’t tell who she’s trying to reassure, but either way it is anything but okay. 

“It’s not okay.” I whimper as my tears start fresh. “What am I going to do, I’m all alone...I can’t raise a baby on my own.” 

“You’re not alone.” Maggie tells me fiercely. Reaching out to me, she holds my shoulders and squeezes gently when I start to protest. “You’re not, Bella. You know, we haven’t been friends long but I’ll still be here for you. I consider you one of my best friends already.” 

“I do too.” I whisper. 

“So don’t tell me that you’re alone, because you’re not. Whatever you decide to do, I’ll be here Bella. I’m not going to abandon you.” 

Before I can get another word out she pulls me back into her arms and hugs me tightly. Without words, she gives me everything I need in this tiny moment suspended in time.

-WYLE-  

“Are you sure that she’s all right?” A soft voice asks softly from around the corner. 

“She’ll be fine.” Maggie replies almost curtly. “Look, I don’t know who you are or what you’re looking for here, but Bella’s been through a lot over the last few months and I can promise you she isn’t interested.” 

“Hey, she was upset in class and I wanted to see that she got home safe. Last time I checked, that wasn’t a crime.” 

The guys voice sounds defiant, but flirtatious. I briefly wonder who the voice belongs to, but not long enough to care in relevance to everything else rushing through my head at this point. 

“It’s not a crime, just unwelcome at this point. Thanks for seeing Bella home and all that but this knight in shining armor bullshit ends here and now, it’s the last thing she needs at the moment.” 

“Hey, watch the hands!” The guy complains. “If you wanted to feel me up all you needed to do was ask sweetheart, no need to get all grabby.” 

“In your dreams pal.” Maggie scoffs. 

“They’d be the sweetest of dreams too.” He answers matter of fact before I hear the front door slam shut. 

When Maggie reappears she’s flushed pink with the hint of a smile still on her lips. However, the moment her eyes fall to me on the floor her body language shifts and suddenly she’s back to being my protective caretaker. 

“Who was that?” I ask blankly as she helps me to my feet.

“Some guy from the class you just came from. He was worried you wouldn’t make it home safely or something.” 

She leads me to the closed toilet and sits me down on the lid before turning to the sink. 

I stare straight ahead as she soaks a washcloth with warm water and rings it out. For a while we’re quite while she washes the tears and grime from my face in a gentle swirling motion. It’s clear neither of us know what to say after several minutes, but Maggie decides to be the first to break the tension. 

“Did you eat anything?” 

I shake my head.

“Well....I’m starved and you know....until you decide what you’re going to do about everything...you should probably eat too...” 

“There isn’t a choice.” I tell her softly as tears start to slowly roll down my cheeks all over again. “The timing is shit and I have no clue how I’ll do it, but I’m going to have this baby. There isn’t an option....I could never...” I start to choke on the words but Maggie stops me by wrapping her arms tightly around me. 

“It’ll be okay Bella.” Maggie breaths into my hair. 

Despite her constant reassurance, I know that this is going to be anything but. 

-WYLE-

November 21

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you Bella? My folks will understand.” 

“I’m sure. I need to do this on my own..and It’ll be okay.” Even in my own voice I can hear the uncertainty.  “Besides, aren’t you supposed to be introducing Liam to your parents?” 

“Don’t remind me.” She sighs heavily. “I’m sure my father and his brothers are going to put on their Irish mob front.” 

I can’t help the chuckle that flows freely over my lips. Laughing was getting a little easier nowadays. “That sounds like something my father does.” I continue to laugh. “The first time I ever brought Edward home we were in high school. I asked him over for a study date and we came home to find my father sitting at the dining room table cleaning his guns.” 

“Oh my God!” Maggie gaffed in surprise. “Your Dad? He’s such a teddy bear though!” 

I chuckled lightly. “You’d be surprised at how quickly he can shift from big teddy bear to menacing Chief of police.” 

“That’s a cop for ya.” Maggie laughed. 

I rolled my eyes and resumed gathering the rest of the items I needed for my weekend back in Forks for Thanksgiving. I was surprising my father with a home cooked meal...and working up the courage to break the news to him that I was pregnant. I also convinced myself that I needed to confront Edward. 

Over the last two weeks I had tried to reach him by his old cell phone number in hopes that I would be strong enough to ask him to meet with me so that we could talk. I had taken a shot in the dark two weeks ago and tried the number that had been disconnected the last time I tried it.  At first I was surprised when the phone rang four times and went straight to voicemail. I half expected that I dialed wrong, but was shocked I hadn’t. When Edward’s voice came over the earpiece asking me to leave a message my heart had stuttered still. It had been so long since I’d heard his voice that I hardly recognized it. In his message he sounded tired, I chalked it up to the long hours of his profession and never thought more of it. Each time I pushed myself to have the courage to call, I always got his voicemail and I never had enough strength to leave a message. I also relished in the comfort that my number was unlisted and private. Part of me wondered if he screened his calls...but I didn’t care and was glad either way for the listless silence I received. 

Part of me was convinced going and confronting him face to face would be better than an awkward phone call from his ex asking to meet up for coffee. At least if I just showed up at his parents house during the holiday weekend he would be able to escape or deny me the peace I needed to make. I was geared up for the unavoidable fight I knew we would have, but I was convinced that telling Edward about my pregnancy was the best thing to do. 

I was scared, but I knew I needed to be strong. 

 Yesterday I picked up a few things at the store to accommodate my now ever expanding waist line. It was mind blowing how quickly my belly had started to expand in such a short amount of time. Maggie kept trying to reassure me that I was still petite despite the subtle changes I had endured over the last few weeks. Gone was my flat tummy, now replaced with a noticeable soft baby bump. 

Slowly but surely I was accepting the fact that I was becoming a mother. It scared the hell out of me and there were times I doubted I could do this...but Maggie was always there telling me how great everything would be and that her and Liam would help me through it all. 

Speaking of Liam, since I’d met him he had become a great friend. Though he was flirtatious at times with me, it was friendly. Shortly after he had followed me home on that night I found out I was pregnant, he had made a point of following Maggie around like a puppy. Just last week he had confessed to me that he had fallen for her the moment they met and that her snarky attitude had drawn him to her. 

Even though they had only been dating a few weeks, I could see the seriousness of their relationship. Liam worshiped the ground Maggie walked on and I could tell that she was head over heels. I knew she was worried about how fast their relationship was progressing but I helped reassure her that when it was right, it was right. 

I was happy for both of them and it warmed my heart to watch the two of them fall so quickly in love. It was a gentle reminder of the life I had once had...and even though it was hard at times I held on to the memories and the idea that love could happen for some people and that even if it didn’t work out for me I shouldn’t be bitter or resentful of other’s happiness. I didn’t want to be like that, nor did I want to raise my child to think his or her mother was a sullen spinster who was drowning in her misery. 

When life give you lemons ... and all that. 

“What time’s your plane again?” Maggie brought me from my musings. 

“Half after noon.” I replied with a nervous smile as I zipped up the rolling duffle she insisted  I borrow from her. She didn’t want me carrying anything and even went as far as picking a special clip so I could secure my purse to another rolling carryon she had picked up so I could haul my book and Saltines' without putting a strain on my body. 

She was out of her mind. 

“You’ll call when you land?” She asked eagerly. 

“Yesh. You sound like my dad you know.” I scowled playfully at her.  

“Yeah, yeah.” she waved me off in her snarky voice. “Just do as your told and check in.” 

“Yes, mother.” I smiled before leaning over and kissing her cheek. 

She swatted me on the butt and pushed me out of my bedroom and into the hall while she gathered up my bags. Outside, Liam waited on the curb with the front door of his Jetta open waiting for me to climb in. 

I rolled my eyes at the two of them. “I thought I was going to take The T, guys?” 

Liam snorted like I was out of my mind before popping his head toward the open door with a smirk. “Get in momma.” 

I settle in and cocked my head to the side as Maggie handed the bags off to Liam. “You wanna come buckle my seatbelt too?” 

“Don’t tempt me.” She smirked back. 

Coming close, she shut the car door before leaning in through the open window and planting a kiss on the top of my head. “Have a good time, tell Dad I said hi?” 

“Sure thing.” I gulped nervously as the anxiety started to creep it’s way over me. 

She eyed me with concern for a moment before she reached in and wrapped her arms around me. “It’ll be all good Bella. Don’t worry.” 

I only nodded and quickly blinked the tears from my eyes as Liam slid in to the drivers seat. 

“I’ll call you when I land.” I told her with a weak smile. 

“You’d better.” She gave me her no non-sense smile and then blew a kiss to Liam. 

He caught it and mockingly stashed it in his pocket for later before easing gently out into the busy Boston traffic. 

-WYLE- 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Seattle - Tacoma International airport.” The pilot comes over the intercom as we slow on the runway. “Currently in Seattle the weather is fifty-six degrees and Sunny with a slow breeze coming in off the coast. Please remain seated with seat belts fastens while we are taxied from the runway until I turn off your seatbelt signs. On behave of myself and the crew of flight 1320, we hope you have enjoyed your flight. We know you have achoice when flying and we want to thank you for choosing American Airlines. We have certainly enjoyed having you on board today, we hope to see you again real soon, and thanks again for flying American Airlines.” 

There is a round of soft applause as we pull slowly toward the gate and come to a complete stop. When the seatbelt light comes off, I stay put for a few minutes and allow the crazies to race off the plane. 

 I had been lucky enough to have the entire row to myself during the long flight, so I wasn’t in a rush. Though I suspect luck has had nothing to do with it. I was sure Maggie had asked her father to buy out the row for my comfort despite my protest. I quickly learned that had I not agreed she would have had him charter his private jet for my disposal. I still wasn’t sure what the hell her father did, but whatever it was he wasn’t to be argued with. It was a quality I was familiar with and I eventually gave in and thanked him for his care and generosity. 

When it’s clear enough and my breathing is calm I stand and gather my small rolling bag from under my seat. Stepping onto the gate, I thank the pilots for a smooth flight and make my way to baggage claim and then to Enterprise to pick up my rental. 

It isn’t long before I’m behind the wheel of a sleek dark sports car, apparently all that was left in stock during the holiday weekend. 

It’s three hours before I merge North/West onto Highway 101 past Port Angeles and make my last half hour ride toward Forks. I’ve kept myself calm and entertained with joyous holiday music as I pretend not to be affected by the green landscape that surrounds me. It’s a loosing battle as I finally pass the the sign welcoming me back to my old home as twilight sets around me, glistening pinks and oranges across the skies. It’s strange seeing it so clear, when I recall grey skies and wet ground. 

The entire way here I’d internalized and battled with the choice I had been set on.  Deciding I couldn’t back down now, I drove straight through the sleepy little town without a second thought. I pass Newton’s and the small diner Charlie loves, past the police station, and through the only traffic light in town.

 I keep pushing myself and the car forward, through the tree line and moss field, until I come to face the beautiful white castle nestled at the base of the mountain. 

There are cars in the driveway some I recognize, while there are others I don’t. 

I feels like I sit in the car for hours as I watch the vacant place I used to love and call home. There’s a soft glow coming from inside that tells me someone is home. If I squint my eyes I can see straight through Esme’s sheer designer curtains and into the family room where a beautifully full Christmas tree stands proud like a blank canvas waiting to be turned into one of Esme’s masterpieces. 

There isn’t a show of life inside, but I know better. It’s the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving. I know Esme would have demanded the family be home for traditional festivities. The thought warms my heart and beats life into me. For once, I just want to feel some type of normalcy. For one moment, I want to feel like I belong again. 

A shadow passes over the bay window and I find myself full of hope and excitement. Before I can stop myself, I’m climbing out of the car and rushing up to the door through the muted light of the long dirt driveway. 

But when my feet hit grass and I get a clear view in the window to the foyer where Edward’s baby grand piano sits, I am yanked frozen in my tracks at the display before me. 

There, sitting on the piano bench is the familiar disarray of the copper hair I love oh so much. Longing and fear rocket through me as I watch him for a moment and realize that he isn’t alone. 

I feel tears build in my eyes as a crown of strawberry blonde curls is tossed back in delighted laughter. Her shoulder shake with mirth and happiness as she leans over and touches him with tenderness and what appears to look like affection. A chill shoots down my spine when I see him wrap an arm around her waist and pull her into a tight embrace. He presses a tender kiss to her face and he closes his eyes as if he’s relishing in her company. 

It’s in that moment that I feel like an intruder. 

I stagger back as though I’ve been sucker punched in the stomach because frankly, that how it feels. By the time I reach the car and stumble inside I’m breathing so hard I feel light headed. However, resolve shoots through me as the bile rises to my throat and my loneliness returns to root its way back into my heart. All the resolve and bravery I’d built up is quickly evaporated, and I’m struggling to breath as I start up the car and struggle not to pass out or vomit until I am far from the Cullen’s property. 

When I’m a safe distance away, I pull over into a secluded turn out on the side of the road and throw the door open. Vomit hits brown dirt even before I can swing my legs out of the car. I gasp and heave and sob and shake as the precious damn I had carefully built is annihilated. 

It’s there on the side of the road that curl myself into a ball and rock as I slowly die inside all over again. 

.

.

.

It’s very dark when I hear the soft buzzing of my cell phone on the seat next to me. 

It takes me a moment, but I find it in the darkness by way of the soft glow flashing across the screen. 

It’s Liam’s number but before I can answer it goes to voicemail. 

“Shit.” 

I didn’t call Maggie when I landed. 

Quickly, I flip my phone open and dial her number. She answers on the second ring but doesn’t say a word. 

“Hello?” I answer softly to keep the emotion from my voice. 

“She lives!” Maggie declares sardonically before she launches into an Alice like speech.. “I thought you were going to call me when you landed girl! Jeeze, you’ve had me worried, we were about to call your father and have him send out a search party. I even almost looked up his family’s number to see if you were just so wrapped-” She stops when she hears the sob tear from my throat.  “Bella?” Her voice suddenly sounds frightened. 

I can only sob down the phone. 

“Oh, God.” She whispers. “Bella? Are you okay?” I can here some commotion in the background over the line. “Where are you....” She asks before pleading. “Oh honey, don’t cry...talk to me Bella...what happened?” And then she begins threatening. “I’ll kill that fucker....” 

“Maggie...” I sniffle and try to regain some composer. 

“I’m here.” She tells me, her own voice cracking. “What happened, are you okay?” 

I quickly explain what I’d seen before I start to cry again, deep overwhelming sobs of grief and heartbreak. 

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry.” She tries to comfort me.  

Part of me accepts that this day wouldn’t be roses and sunshine....but I never expected him to move on so quickly....and with a breathtaking blonde no-less. 

Insecurity slashes hot like fire through my chest as I spiral deeper into my sorrow and depression. 

In those few moments I sit on the side of the road, I resolve and rebuild the exterior to my wall. I block out the overwhelming sensation of loneliness as best I can and push down the emotions that plague me. When I’m calm enough, I hang up with Maggie telling her I’m going to drive over to my father’s house. She insist that we stay on the phone until I reach my destination, but I win by telling her I have enough distractions without adding a phone conversation to the mix. She lets me hang up but only after I promise to call her in the morning. 

When I arrive at Charlie’s house everything is dark, but his cruiser and pickup truck are in the driveway and it’s an immediate comfort to know he’s home. 

I pull along the side of the road next to a row of cars that undoubtably belong to the family members who visit the neighbors annually for the holiday feast. 

I climb out of the car and bundle my heavy down jacket around me in attempt to keep out the chill from the night air and my growing melancholy. Quickly, I pull my bags out of the trunk and walk across the street to the rickety front porch of Charlie’s tiny little house. 

I reach for the eve but then think better and knock. 

It takes dad a minute, but when he finally opens the door he’s stunned by my presence and my current state. 

“Bella?” He's confused as he pulls me into his arms. However, his confusion is quickly replaced by surprise. “What're you doing here?” 

“Happy Thanksgiving.” I mutter lifelessly.